Going "Natural"

When I was in high school I told everyone I was going to adopt.  I claimed that my choice was rooted in a deep desire to nurture and care for abandoned and unwanted children.  It sounded really good coming out of my mouth while I sat around in my doc martens and smoked clove cigarettes.

But it was total BS.  Total.  The truth was that childbirth absolutely terrified me.  

I recall sitting at the kitchen table with my mom and two of her friends.  Hippies turned yuppies that they all were, they had all had unmedicated births in the 70s and early 80s.  I was about 12 years old.  My mother's friends shared that they hadn't found childbirth to be so bad.  A silent, deep, internal sigh of relief came over me.  This thing that loomed out on the horizon some day for me wasn't so bad?  I felt my gray matter and my shoulders soften as if they were letting go of some little thing that was holding them slightly suspended.  Then my own mother spoke.  "Really? I thought it hurt like hell." 

My tension resumed ten fold.  My body seized.  I adopted my "adoption" plan, and hid behind it. 

20 or so years later, my husband and I were lucky enough to find ourselves pregnant and considering the cornucopia of childbirth preparation course options.  My friends had kids.  Most of them had had epidurals.  A few had chosen to have natural births.  I was in awe of these unmedicated birth stories.  They humbled and excited me.  And I realized that somewhere between high school and marriage, the terror of childbirth had been replaced by the terror of having an anesthesiologist stick a needle in my spine.  And so, we enrolled in a 12 week Natural Childbirth Class.  

I'm not gonna sugar coat it.  Laboring and pushing out a baby without medication is no picnic.  Ayun Halliday, in her book, "The Big Rumpus" describes it as "a white hot lighting rod of pain, ripping me in two".  And how!  (By the way, if you dig natural birth, extended breastfeeding, cosleeping, and a good laugh, walk don't run to the nearest book store and buy this book).  

There were a few times, around 9 centimeters, when I thought to myself, "I really respect those epidural mamas.  They are smart mamas! I'm a crazy person!"  

My cousin, who's had two home births, said to me, "In labor, I felt pushed to my limit, but never past it."  I held on to this information like a life jacket.  And she was right.  Except for one little detail she forgot to mention:  There are 'limits', and then there are 'labor limits', and they are really fucking different!  The 'limits I was pushed to in my labor are not the same ones I am pushed to in my daily life.  Not even close.  I felt like a super hero.  My husband, blown away by the strength and stamina required, was convinced I could have pushed our volvo onto its side.  

Natural Childbirth was very important to me.  It was a right of passage.  It was something I wanted to fully know, to feel, to experience, and I believed in my body and it's ability to birth my baby.  I believed in my health and in the natural process of birth.  And I knew that by birthing my baby naturally, I would dramatically increase the chance that both of us would be healthy and safe. 

So, laboring and pushing out babies without medication and intervention isn't for everyone.  And I try really hard to respect that.  I think it's all about finding peace in your process.  Finding peace in your approach to pregnancy, to birth, to breastfeeding, and parenting is essential.  If you gather the information and you make your decision and you find peace with it, then you're doing what's right for you.  I think what's hard to accept is the lack of information shared with pregnant families by their providers.  

The information on the benefits of unmedicated birth is essential, and how it relates to breastfeeding is big.  Here are just a few to whet your palate.  

• Breastfeeding in the first hour of life exponentially increases the chance of breastfeeding success.
• Interventions during birth, including pain medications, increase the chance of complications or the need for a surgical birth; thus separating mothers and babies during the first hour of life.
• Babies born on epidurals are often groggy and slower to take the breast.
• Moms who labor on epidurals are more likely to receive other interventions which can lead to birth complications resulting in the separation of mom and baby.
• Inducing labor is likely to lead to the need for other interventions which can lead to birth complications resulting in the separation of mom and baby.

After my birth, I said to my husband, "Find the urology department and get a vasectomy.  Now."  

I. Was. Not. Joking.  

But I'm glad he didn't listen to me.