According to Bonnie Rochman, a Health & Family writer for Time Magazine, "Although most women are feeding their babies formula by six months, the message about the importance of breast-feeding has penetrated the culture — and it’s rubbing some moms the wrong way." (see article here)
And "at Mommyish, Lindsay Cross wrote about how she 'felt so guilty at the thought of not breast-feeding' that she says she would have even experimented with prescription drugs to try to increase her milk supply." (credit)
Many would argue that this guilt is unnecessary and unfair to formula feeding moms, but is there a way to support, encourage, teach, and normalize breastfeeding in the US without some resulting guilt for formula feeding moms? If breast is best, and it is, then when we either can't or don't offer our children "the best", personal reflection and sometimes negative feelings will surface for most moms. If we make a concerted effort in the breastfeeding education, awareness, and advocacy communities to lessen the "pressure" to breastfeed and subsequent guilt for non-breastfeeding mamas, don't we risk dramatic decreases in breastfeeding rates in this country where rates are already very low?
The good news is, most individuals working in the breastfeeding support and advocacy fields are hugely compassionate toward moms who struggled to feed their babes at the breast. Because at least 98% of women are capable of breastfeeding successfully, typically, failure to breastfeed is a result of not getting the right support, making breastfeeding education for medical professionals and parents extremely essential. I learn so much from the stories of my friends who tried unsuccessfully to breastfeed, especially when I inquire about the nature of their support, or lack thereof. And for moms who chose not to breastfeed, there is equal compassion because typically these mamas are making their decisions based on community, familial and/or societal norms with which they are most comfortable. This is another area where breastfeeding awareness and advocacy work is crucial. Changing how we view breastfeeding as a culture can make big shifts in our success rates.
In 3rd world countries, there is little breastfeeding education, and yet breastfeeding rates are much higher and reports of breastfeeding problems are dramatically lower than in the developed world. Why? Because in these communities, breastfeeding is the norm. Girls and young women are all breastfed themselves, they see their siblings breastfed, watch their neighbors and community members breastfeed, and are supported in breastfeeding by all the women around them. It is a societal norm, and no one questions it.
But back to guilt. "Dr. Kathleen Marinelli, chair-elect of the U.S. Breastfeeding Committee, thinks the conversation about guilt is misguided. 'We talk about guilt-tripping, but I don’t honestly think we make mothers feel guilty,' she says. 'I honestly think it’s grief and it comes out as guilt. When you really talk to these women, they have grief that they didn’t understand enough to give it a try or they tried and weren’t supported. Women get very emotional about it.'"(citation)
From my perspective, the answer is not to make a concerted effort to reduce pressures and guilt, but instead to:
- compassionately focus on helping mothers struggling with breastfeeding to be successful with mixed or exclusive breastfeeding,
- improve breastfeeding education for parents, and health care professionals (especially OBs, GPs and Pediatricians),
- and begin to make breastfeeding the accepted norm for babies in the US.
What do you think about this question of guilt around formula feeding?
Would you or have you considered taking prescription drugs to increase your milk supply?
What do you find is the societal expectation around breastfeeding in your immediate community?
And please, consider following me by entering your email at the top of my blog home page!
This was my favorite post to date.
ReplyDeleteThe most interesting observation I've had is that for most, familial and peer advice trumps research. That fact causes a domino effect. Once a mom uses formula, she becomes hopeful that more moms will use formula which will lessen her guilt. Thus causing her to be quick to suggest formula to her peers and family!
Also, with so much poor research, it's easy to find a counter-argument to anything. If you don't know how to trust a source more than another, you end up trusting no source at all. Which only furthers the usage of familial and community advice.
Ok, one more thing...I can't help it! The most common phrase I hear is, "I was formula fed and look at me, I'm fine." My wife has the best understanding of this. She says of course you're fine. We're humans, we're resilient and adapt well to almost all forms of subsistence. It's not about being 'fine' she'll say, "It's about reaching your potential."