Totally Exposed

Are milky breasts sexy breasts?  Can they be both?

Depends on who you ask.  Most women love that their cleavage quotient increases with breastfeeding, and their honeys do too.  There's a lot of crossover between sexy boobs and milky boobs, but this can make the line between breasts for food and breasts for sex blurry and grey.  It's a complicated topic, and all of us bring our own personal stories to said topic.

Flipping through a magazine, advertisements will show women with deep cleavage, heaving bosoms, and glorified busts.  We, as a society, are comfortable with this (well most of us are).  And yet, a photo of a woman breastfeeding gets many members of our society quite uncomfortable and even offended.

In many ways it comes down to exposure (pun intended).  We have been exposed to breasts as a sex symbol for eons.  And in the last 50 years, we have become increasingly comfortable with showing more and more and more in the media.  Hollywood and advertising in particular have pushed this envelope, slowly increasing exposure until we are comfortable with a lot of, well, exposure.

The same can be true of breastfeeding.  By exposing our society more and more (subtle, slow shifts in public, frequent, and extended breastfeeding), we can push the envelope; thereby slowly increasing general society's experience with breastfeeding.

One of my favorite bloggers, "Banned From Baby Showers" has this to say:

"[I]t's OK that breasts are sexual and are capable of feeding a baby.  They are dual purpose.  I have a friend that calls breasts and genitalia "life-giving parts" and explains to her kids that we cover those parts because they are sacred... If someone has not breastfed a baby or been around breastfeeding A LOT, they really only see breasts as sexual.  Everyone knows that breasts produce milk (life-giving), but many have never been exposed to breastfeeding.  Because it is so ingrained, I don't know that their minds can be changed without experience."  

True Luv!

Hallelujah and a big 'Hells Yeah' to Luvs Diapers who rocked out an awesome advertisement that promotes breastfeeding in public.  If anything could make a crunchy mama switch from cloth to disposable, it's this kick ass ad!

Watch the ad by clicking here.

Of course, the ad has not avoided controversy.  The Miami Herald reports that while the media reacted rather positively, the public, not so much.  Even some nursing moms found the ad to be over the top.  

Sadly this "controversy" reeks of what we continue to struggle with as a society here in the U.S.  Had the ad been for perfume or jewelry, and the woman's breasts equally exposed, I'd bet the farm that there would be no controversy at all.    

Ana Veciana-Suarez, journalist and mother of 5 grown children has this to say: 

"While nursing in public is no big deal in many countries, here at home mothers are likely to be rewarded with a scowl instead of encouragement. In our society, breasts — cleavage, really — serve another purpose. They sell cars, promote sporting events, advertise websites and campaign for beer, shaving cream and men’s cologne. Isn’t it about time they endorsed good mothering?"

Amen, Mama!

Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/10/06/3034773/luvs-commercial-about-public-breastfeeding.html#storylink=c

NIP

Amazingly, NIP in the breastfeeding community does not stand for nipple, as in, "Hey, get some more of that nip in that babe's mouth!" But instead stands for....

Nursing
In
Public

Leave it to breastfeeding nuts to come up with multiple uses for the nip.

Anyway, I've got a little NIP shocker for you all...

Despite the last 20 months of proudly, if not righteously, nursing my daughter in public, I have begun to feel, well, a little bit shy.  Yep, me.  Stand on your soap box shouting to the rooftops, telling the neigh-sayers off, me.  Feeling shy as I nurse my daughter in public.  It doesn't help that she does acrobatics while nursing (this draws a lot of attention and some cringing from those close enough to see she is treating my nipple like salt water taffy), but she also yells and demands "Nurse, Mama!" at the WORST times.  And she's just old enough for me to be just not quite in the mood to take on the judge-y-pants looks from those around us.

I was very uncomfortable with my discomfort.  So, I did a little soul searching, and came up with the following.

Nursing in public is key to increasing awareness, comfort level, and tolerance for this extremely normal exchange between mother and child (of any age), and I want to continue to push and support that as a breastfeeding advocate.  So, while I definitely want to keep up my NIP, I also want to set some ground rules that increase my comfort level as I nurse an older child.

Also, breastfeeding is an opportunity to teach my kid to accept and respect boundaries, both physical (with me) and social.  So, we decided to make some changes.  Here they are:

1. Instead of asking for nursing, my daughter asks for "snuggles".  This is a great little code word that people nearby aren't remotely startled by.  Unlike "nurse, mama!" which when it comes out of my 21 month old (who is taller than most 2.5 year olds), can be a bit daunting for onlookers. 
2. When out of the house, we nurse "by the clock".  OMG, that's right.  Me!  By. The. Clock.  Now, to clarify, if you are nursing by the clock or reading that god forsaken BabyWise crap with a child under the age of 1, you are not gonna like what I say about you behind your back.  But, my kid is almost 2.  And sometimes, when we are in public, she wants to nurse every 6 fucking minutes.  This doesn't work for me any better than it does for those around us.  So, I set my phone alarm to go off every 45 minutes to an hour.  And when my daughter asks if she can "snuggle" I say, "let's check the clock."  We do.  She likes it.  I think it even gives her a sense of calmness because she and I are not negotiating over when we nurse and instead she can just relax and wait for the alarm.  

The only problem is that my daughter can't really say her "L" sound yet.  So when she wants to check the clock, she says, "See Cock!"

Oy.