Explaining WHY you are still nursing your toddler

Have you ever been challenged on why you are nursing an older child?

I certainly have.  I'm nursing an almost 2 year old (gasp!) with no signs of stopping.  And, like most of us milky mamas, I have friends and family who "get it" and friends and family who do not.

If you're like me you get really hot and heavy and want to jump on your soap box and wax the benefits of nursing into or beyond the toddler years.  But this doesn't usually go that well.

Maybe, like me, you wish you could deliver zinger speeches and one liners (like Alicia Florick on The Good Wife) whenever challenged.  Here are a few good ones I'd like to try:


-Are you still nursing?
-No, I stopped quite a while ago, but daugther still is.

-Are you still nursing?
-I know, I'm such a bad mother.  (wasn't that what they were insinuating?)


But if you don't feel like being sarcastic, what else can you say when family, friends, or community members challenge your extended nursing choices?

Norma Jane Bumbagrner, author of "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler", gives this advice:
"Tell [the person] how much you rely on his/her support for you as a parent.  Tell her you know how much she cares for you and your child...  Remind her that you're acting out of concern for your [child].  You have learned from the experience of other mothers... and from reading... that no harm comes from continuing to nurse.... Emphasize the enjoyable parts of your continued nursing relationship."

Looking for a shorter response?  I've had some great success with this simple one-liner when challenged on the fact that I'm still nursing my 20 month old:  "I still really love it," I say.
It's hard to argue with that.

Of course, some people will be persistent in their criticism and "concern".  If you're not getting anywhere in the dialogue, you may need to be more firm.  One mother chose to leave the room every time the challenging began.  She just got up and walked out without saying another word.  After several episodes like this, her extended family ceased the criticism, realizing they weren't going to make any progress.

Regardless of how you go about communicating with the dissenting and challenging opinions around you, the important thing is that the attention and criticism doesn't change your course.  Mamas need to do what feels right for them and their babes regarding weaning timelines.  Seek support and find a place to vent and talk when the opinions of others are getting you down or pushing you to wean before you and your babe are ready.

I'd love to hear from you!  Please respond and share some of your own stories about being challenged for extended nursing!